The Aftermath
by Wolf-lover-girl
Summary: Set after 2011 Christmas Special! There's another guest at the Ponds' Christmas table this year, and hilarity ensues when the Doctor has to sit through Christmas dinner with her... One-Shot, rated T cause I'm paranoid xD


**_I really loved the ending to the Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe (Literally had me steaming up!) and I was jumping up and down hoping we would get to see River, but we didn't :( So I decided to write what I thought would have happened!_**

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><p>After getting over his initial surprise and tears that the Ponds' had laid out a place for him, the Doctor straightened his bow-tie and deftly wiped away the last of the "happy tears" that had sprung on him. He couldn't believe, after everything he put them through, they would do, what was to them a obvious thing to do, but for the Doctor, who had rarely ever spent Christmas with his friends, a big deal.<p>

He pushed the door to the dining room open, saying, "There better be fish fingers and cust-" He stopped instantly, his eyes widening at the sight of a curly-haired woman sitting at the table, grinning evilly at him.

"Hello sweetie," She smiled sweetly, and his mouth opened and closed, looking like a fish out of water.

"Ri...River?" He spluttered, looking from Amy to Rory, who were muffling their giggles behind napkins. "Wh...What are...you doing here?"

"They are my parents, sweetie," She pointed out, gesturing to Amy and Rory, who pretended to take sips of wine to disguise their laughter.

"But...but..." He tried to speak, but his vocal cords seemed to have been damaged at the sight of his _ wife_ sitting smiling up at him as if the whole Utah thing hadn't happened.

"Oh, sit down already," She rolled her eyes, "Before you faint."

He gave her a look, before watching Amy sit down at the table, across from River. Rory and the Doctor stared at the two remaining seats. One of them was next to Amy, and the other...

"So, Amy!" The Doctor said hurriedly, attempting to sit next to her, but Rory was closer and, after a brief struggle of flailing limbs and childish yells of, "I don't _want _to sit next to her!" Rory sat down, grinning triumphantly at the Doctor, who stuck his tongue out at him. "Just remembered actually, gotta dash, don't want to leave the TARDIS alone on Christmas and all-" He attempted to run out the door, but Amy, predicting this would happen, was standing in front of it, arms crossed.

"Sit down," She said in a voice a teacher would use to a disobedient pupil. He started to protest, but she pulled out the water gun, splashing him in the face. He yelped, and covered his face with his hands, but she aimed for his bow-tie.

"You did not just do that!" He exclaimed, sounding so horror-struck that Amy nearly keeled over with laughter. She gestured to him with the water gun, and the seat next to River, who had her innocent smile on, but the Doctor knew from experience that that was her most deadly smile.

With a sigh of defeat, he trudged over to the seat, dragging his heels to emphasize his distaste, but Amy merely ducked into the kitchen, before coming back in with plates laden down with turkey and potatoes, and a variety of different foods.

The Doctor sat down warily on the seat, as far away from River as possible, which made her lean closer to him, enjoying the uncomfortable look he had on his face, and the way he squirmed whilst shoving a glass of wine in her hands to keep her occupied.

She chuckled and took a sip, before everyone bar the Doctor ladled food onto their plates. He sat in silence, folding his arm with a childish look of stubbornness on his face.

"Lighten up sweetie," River teased, and the Doctor relented before trying some of the food. The second it came into contact with his taste buds, his entire being urged him to spit it out. However, because Amy was watching him like a hawk surveying it's prey, he gave her a thumbs up and swallowed it quickly, destroying any last remnants of the bitter taste with the pitcher of water lying on the middle of the table.

Something, or, more correctly, some_one _was touching his leg, which made him jump a mile in the air, nearly spitting the water out. Amy and Rory stared at him quizzically as River continued eating, her best disguised smile on her face.

"What's wrong with you?" Amy demanded, her eyebrows raised.

The Doctor pointed from River to the table and back again, with an outburst of protest, but she merely gave him the smallest of winks, and said to her parents, "Never mind him, he's probably drunk." She teased, smirking at the sight of him drinking what he had assumed was water.

His mouth fell partially open and his eyebrows furrowed as he realized what she had done. "River!" He exclaimed, immediately replacing the glass on the table.

"Its Christmas sweetie," She reminded him, and he had to content himself with rolling his eyes at her.

A few minutes later, the Doctor felt something touch his leg again, and he immediately rounded on River, "Stop it!" He whined, and she spread her hands out, laughing.

"Wasn't me!"

"That was my fault..." Rory admitted sheepishly, having had ducked down to retrieve the napkin he had dropped, emerging almost as red-faced as the Doctor.

Time seemed to fly in, a combination of talking about a range of topics from River and the Doctor's confusing argument about the benefits of vortex manipulators, to the five seconds it took after the Doctor excitedly placed the pink paper crown on his head for River to "accidentally" setting it on fire with a candle.

When the clock that rested snugly in a bookcase pronounced it to be midnight, River stood up, smiling at the sight of Rory and the Doctor entangled as they struggled to stay upright, whilst Amy called out colors that just so happened to be in the most difficult places to reach.

"I better get back before they realize I'm gone," She said, hugging Amy good-bye. "I'll visit soon," She said cheerfully, watching as Rory and the Doctor attempted to undo the human pretzel. When they managed to, the Doctor swiftly gave Rory a "man-hug" and hugged Amy as well.

"I'd better be off as well," He said, and she pulled apart slightly, fixating him with a stare he couldn't break.

"You better visit as well mister!" She ordered, and he gave her a mock-salute, before heading to the door.

"Need a ride home?" He asked River, who grinned cheekily at him.

"Define, ride?" She asked sweetly, and watched as the color crept from his neck to his cheeks, and he strode off towards the TARDIS, muttering something about women. "See you later!" She called to her parents, who stood waving by the door, wrapped in each other's arms. Even when the TARDIS door closed, they could hear them arguing.

"Don't touch my brakes!"

"Do you want every person in the country to wake up?"

"Get away from the calibrators!"

"Do you want to end up on the moon?"

"Bite me."

"With pleasure."

"RIVER!"

"They can't hear us sweetie, or did you forget to put the sound-proof on?"

A moment's silence, before the Doctor eventually pulled a level, yelling, "It was her! Not me!"

That was the last thing the Ponds' heard, before they watched the TARDIS dematerialise, with the Doctor and River inside, and the latter of whom had no intention of going back to Stormcage for at least another hour...

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><p><em><strong>Hope you liked it and all that! :D And have a good Christmas if your lucky enough for it still to be the 25th!<strong>_


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